How to Live With a Golden Retriever

By cinnamon789

Instructions

Things You’ll Need:

Dog brush
Leash and collar
Tennis balls
Dog biscuits

Step 1:
Brush the retriever's golden hair every day. A pure golden sheds beyond any conceivable evolutionary purpose. Brush your blankets, couches, and chairs and every adhesive surface you have.
Step 2:
Put a collar on the dog, clip a leash to the collar and take your ecstatic friend out for walks and runs. Be aware that burning off her high-as-a-kite energy will have no effect on how much she sheds.
Step 3:
Take him to the park and throw tennis balls. Even better, if you live near a lake that allows dogs, throw tennis balls into the lake and let them splash out to fetch. Golden retrievers love water. They go berserk with joy whenever they get to swim.

Tips & Warnings

If your golden can't live for a moment without your treasured attention, and constantly nudges your hand off the keyboard while you're trying to work, here's what you do: Point to the floor and say, "Down." Each time she gets it, and does lie down, give her a biscuit and a pat on the head.
To encourage even more uncalled for adoration, give your golden retriever ear rubs. You will be worshipped for all eternity.

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