Something seemed not quite right

[mweinstock1]

Hi my name is Mindy, i had a post in the Rainbow Bridge, under Fairwell Master-Buffy's mom. I haven't been on in awhile as i have been dealing with different things..both not feeling very well..found i have fibromyalgia-and put on cymbalta ..and also reason for this post is i was in the process of trying to adopt a puppy from a rescue that i saw online. this is what happened.

i put in my application online for one specific pup. just after doing that though i saw an area where i could view more dogs and saw one more pup that interested me and emailed my interest to add her and say to say which do you think would fit better. there was to be a home visit set up before we would be approved.

The fostering parent of the pup i put in the application for and i kept in contact by email ..we never spoke by phone. i did not care for that at all. it was very hard to expand on questions..red flag ..when i asked about the other pup...didn't get too much definitive information...and by email it was hard. it said this pup was 4-5 months old when i viewed him on the rescue site on july 11th. so i asked how old was he when she began fostering him. her response was he was 3-4 months old. i just don't see how he can be about 4 months old for so long..makes no sense to me.

I was contacted for my home visit by a different person..and i thought here was my chance to find out things. problem was she didn't know anything..though she was nice..the visit lasted like no more than 8 minutes. she said there were no problems and would be passing the info on to the fostering parent.

The fostering parent told me the pup was being neutered this past wednesday..so we had been thinking of meeting him this saturday..i suggested waiting ..figuring he'd possibly not be up to it. she thought he'd be fine.

She gave me the town she was in{not the address yet} and i made an error mapquesting it. two towns had one letter {at the end}different..oops. so here i thought it was almost a four hour trip each way ..when it wasn't quite two..and told her we couldn't do it. she was not happy let me tell you. but what bothered me was when i got her response back-i noticed she had included a CC-with someone elses email address..she sent my email response to her to another person. i felt a breech of security there..as all we were doing was continuing to push reply so all our emails were passed along to that person too.

So i asked for her specific address and was trying to set up a time to meet and also see if the pup was really up to it.
when she gave me her address she said that so not to appear rude she was telling us now she would not be inviting us in.
now for me, she said she had a pasture with a fence..i wanted to meet him in a contained area..in a home setting. not outside with him running around. i was not comfortable at all. my fiance-Dave said that was the end of it. He took over from there and he emailed her back thursday evening that we were not going to go forward with this. she has not responded again.

I must say i'm quite disappointed. but there were just too many red flags popping up in our minds over this one..too many unanswered questions and i feel when people seem to evade talking to you there are things they are hiding.I'm just sorry it worked out this way.

we do definitely still plan to adopt a puppy and will be looking again very soon. We definitely are more than ready for one now. we have everything we need for one all ready as we'd already prepared for this one. and most of all we've lots of love to share..as do our two cats -smokey and bandit -who are now two and a half..who we adopted at age one from petsmart-aspca in new jersey..they are sisters. god bless, and take care everyone, Mindy

[lynners]

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience with a "rescue", but I'd also like to clear up a few things.

I am very actively involved in running a rescue organization (am the adoptions team leader), and all correspondance is by e-mail, unless something requires a phone appointment. It makes some people uncomfortable, yes. However, we are a very small group of people, volunteering to do this in our spare time after work/school/family/etc. If we have time to pop off an e-mail at 2 am, we can do that. Can't exactly make a phone call then!

Also, you would not believe how inundated rescues are with e-mails. "Is this dog still available?" "I'm looking for this type of dog, can you help me?" "I need to get rid of my dog, will you take him?" "I found a lost kitten, can you take it?" and so on and so on. It does get to be rather irritating, as so many of the questions we're asked can be answered by viewing our website or by filling out an adoption/foster application. So yes, you may not get as thorough of an answer as you'd like. But that's reality, rescues are a service for dogs, not people!

Dogs in our care take priority, so yes, website updates do fall behind. We have a disclaimer on our pet listings that say "ALL THE INFORMATION AVAILABLE ABOUT THIS DOG IS HERE. UPDATES ARE PROVIDED AS THEY ARE AVAILABLE" Yet still, people e-mail asking "can you tell me more?". We have an adoptions address and a main address...whenever is someone is sending a message from one, the other address is cc'd. Yes, people are contacted by several people during the process. We do not have staff! Those on our adoptions team pop in to help when they have a moment. My rescue has a 4 person executive, and some applications deal with all four of us at one point or another.

The person who did the home visit may have known more than you thought. Often, there is one person in the rescue who does the "matching" (even though someone may apply for a specific dog, it may not be a good fit for them). Before we had this policy, we got ourselves into a couple of sticky situations when two applicants were interested in the same dog. Now, the person doing the home visit will not talk about specific dogs unless it has been pre-approved by the director.

Anyway, what you experienced was not abnormal until she got ridiculous and said she wasn't going to invite you into her house. That's childish and unprofessional. And unfortunately, there's no shortage of that in the rescue community. There are a lot of big egos and saint/martyr syndrome.

My rescue has been reputably rescuing since 1999, and I've been involved since 2008. Perhaps rescue isn't the route for you. You might be more comfortable with shelter adoption, where you can go in and actually speak to an individual.

[mweinstock1]

lynners, I really appreciate you getting back to me. i think you're right.. i just wasn't prepared for what to expect as i'd never had any experience with a rescue before. you do make many excellent points that i really was not aware of. i also agree that we'd be more comfortable with a shelter adoption. I also wanted to thank you for all the hard work you and your rescue provide striving to care for and find good homes for so many dogs. God Bless, Mindy

[Phyrie]

Lynners, thanks for the insight into "the other side" of this procedure. I understand why personal phone calls to prospective owners is impractical, and immensely time-consuming! I imagine there are lots of "lookie-loos" too, who just want more info, and are not really interested in actually adopting a dog, or that one particular dog. I think you're right, the OP would be better off going to a shelter and talking to the people there, face to face.

The only error I can see in the described situation is the refusal to allow an adoptor access to the foster home. It struck me as petty, too. The wrong address might have been just a mistake. I can't see it being intentional, there was nothing to gain from that. Your saint/martyr description is very apt.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Lynners, I'm so glad you explained that to Mindy.

Perhaps moving forward Mindy, you may wish to ask questions of Lynners (and the rest of us here at the DP) as you go. I am glad that you followed your heart if you felt there were too many red flags. I'm sure Lynners would agree with that. I think if either party feels uncomfortable with the process, it is probably best left.

Your perfect new forever friend is out there waiting for you. When the time is right, you two will find each other. Hang in there Mindy

[mweinstock1]

Deb, thanks for always knowing the right thing to say..i know when the time is right..i'll find my forever friend..and when i do they will become a member of our family and always know they are loved and never have to worry whether they'd be taken care of..or want for anything.

i did want to say that the address mixup was MINE not the fostering parent of the rescue..i'd added an S by accident when i mapquested the town..and wouldn't you know there were two towns that were quite far apart..two hours..same name but only an S difference at end. so was my mistake..which i corrected..and was then going to still go and meet the pup..till i got word that we wouldn't be allowed in..we'd be meeting in the pasture outside.

Thanks again , have a great evening, God bless, Mindy

[4 the Dogs]

Hi Mindy! Just wanted to say hang in there! I'm sorry you had some disappointment, but as Lynners said rescue groups have a lot of challenges and can appear difficult when they are really are doing the best they can. I hope that didn't sound wrong.

A friend of mine just worked with a rescue to adopt a heartworm positive German Shepard. My friend admittedly isn't very internet savvy and almost missed out on her new friend because of difficultly she was having with the application process. Then there was some confussion over the heartworm treatment. Something about the legalities of the adoption contract and the treatments. I'm not clear on all the details. This dog could NOT have found a better home! Everyone did work together and she is finally in her forever home!

I know how excited you were and still are to find you new furever friend! Take your time and the perfect dog will cross your path!!

[lynners]

Hi Mindy! Just wanted to say hang in there! I'm sorry you had some disappointment, but as Lynners said rescue groups have a lot of challenges and can appear difficult when they are really are doing the best they can. I hope that didn't sound wrong.

You've said it perfectly! A lot of applicants get quite frustrated and take it out on us, which is disheartening because they don't seem to get that the dogs always come first. Please note that I'm not saying this is what you did, Mindy! Unfortunately, the way you described this woman makes me feel that she is operating a less then reputable "rescue".

Good luck in your search!

[mweinstock1]

Thanks Kris and Lynners, i am definitely very positive about finding my furever friend. what happened was unfortunate. could have been just my discomfort or could have been disreputable Lynners...i don't know...but i am carrying on my search..and will be checking into animal shelters..very shortly. There is a puppy out there who needs a good, loving, safe, forever family..and it soon will have it's forever home.

I have to promise to adopt only one! not so easy..but for now...i've agreed. Plus i want to be able to make this one pup the priority..giving it the attention and time it deserves and needs. and it's been a long time since i've had a puppy-10 years-and never at the same time with cats. so alot to learn. any suggestions/tips as to introducing new puppy and two cats {two and a half years old sisters-i adopted them at 1 year of age} i would really appreciate it alot.

Have a great day, God Bless, Mindy

[Deerie me]

My best advice would be act as if it's no big deal and it won't be. Always supervise the dog and the cats initially but don't be anxious about it or they will pick up on your emotions. I have introduced many dogs to many cats and have never had a problem. Dogs soon learn that cats are sharp at the corners. Make sure the cats have a safe zone. In our house, upstairs is cats only unless by invitation. You could also keep the dog crated for the initial introduction.

[mweinstock1]

Hi Deerie me, thanks for your suggestions and tips. i did get a large dog crate already..so that's a great idea..for smelling each other, etc without getting up close and personal as they say.

i live in a ranch design home-one level...so..how do i make a separate safe zone..or more private area i think u mean for the cats. my living room/dining room/kitchen is one big great room space. that is where everyone seems to be all the time except when sleeping..cats included. and eventually when the cats are done with their evening play of running up and down the hall...and thru the house..lol..they join us in our room to sleep also. i was thinking that in time the puppy would probably follow suit and join in in our room as well...wherever they'd be comfortable.

have a great evening, god bless, Mindy

[Deerie me]

You could either use your bedroom until such a point as the dog can be trusted in the bedroom by which time they should be comfortable or maybe put a dog gate across your bathroom(or other room) doorway so they have the bathroom, spare bedroom or utility room or whatever. They only need one room with somewhere comfy to sleep and they will be fine. It's just somewhere to escape to if the dog bugs them.

[Muzzlenuzzles]

It may help your cats if they have access to high places they can easily retreat to but the dog can't reach (e.g., kitty condos or even just high furniture). This helped my older cats to cope when we got a puppy many years ago. Good luck with your search!

[Deerie me]

It may help your cats if they have access to high places they can easily retreat to but the dog can't reach (e.g., kitty condos or even just high furniture). This helped my older cats to cope when we got a puppy many years ago. Good luck with your search!

I hadn't thought of that as there is nowhere my dogs can't reach.

[mweinstock1]

Good morning Deerie Me and Muzzllenuzzles, thanks for the wonderful tips. i did purchase a puppy gate already but we only keep our bedroom door open at night..and all other doors closed. cats are only allowed in the office when we are in it too. same with bedroom and they both sleep in there. our dear smokey has a issue it seems once a month or so leaving her mark somewhere...all other times she is no problem so we've had little choice but to close doors.

we could put the puppy gate up at the entrance to the hallway..which would give the cats the hallway. and if one of us were in the office..then it could go there.

one thing we don't yet have is a kitty condo..we have checked several times but so far they've been quite expensive..i've moved to virginia recently...anyone know of somewhere i can get one that's more reasonably priced?

Both smokey and bandit..our cats do like to climb..though smokey can get up quite a bit higher and faster than bandit. bandit is happy on the center island--i think as she likes to be ready for when we turn on the water so she can get a drink..she also follows me into the bathroom for the same reason. {i do keep water down for them all the time-she just seems to enjoy the sink water too} smokey..she can get to anywhere..and has caused quite a bit of uproar around here...i've had to velcro down all of my ceramic pieces which go all around the top surrounding my kitchen cabinets...as she finds that sometimes too tempting a spot..and knocked one down to the counter..luckily it did not break. she ran for the hills but it has not stopped her apparently..she's been back up there a few times since..but the velcro has helped..and we keep a good eye on her and get her down with the footstool ourselves. she's our houdini. i'm not too worried about her getting away from the puppy if she wants to..i think she can fly.

We've had many adventures with our cats and i'm so looking forward to our new addition and welcome more adventures.
Though sisters ,our cats have very different personalities..just like people do as siblings. But, i am very sure of this, they are both very loving, and in time will adjust and be fine with our new family member and we'll do everything we can to make this as smooth a transition for all as possible..keeping a close eye and giving all space as they need it, and providing lots of love and reassurance.

Have a wonderful day, God bless, Mindy