Help with Knowing When

[pittdrex]

Last week I took Brady to the vet for his regular 6 month check-up and got news I was totally unprepared for. He has been slowing down, which I attributed to his being 14 years old. However, an exam and subsequent x-rays confirmed a primary lung tumor which has already begun to spread. Now he is on pain management and steroids.

Right now he is still enjoying his morning walks, has a good appetite, and enjoys going around sniffing in the backyard. However, as I said, I can already see signs of him slowing down considerably. I know that I am the only one who can make the final decision on when to let him go, but I am hoping someone here who has been in a similar situation can share their thoughts. I am leaning towards spoiling him for a week or two, and then letting go while he is still able to enjoy life. Has anyone made that decision - to let go before there is any significant decline? Would I be cheating him - and myself- of some quality time together? The heartache of trying to decide is almost unbearable.

[RubyJeansMom]

Oh pittdrex, Your post has brough tears to my eyes...poor sweet Brady.

I think quite a few of us,here on the DP, have gone through what you're going through now.
To be honest, I think I may have waited too long with my Morty, but it's so hard to let go.
If I had to do it over again, I would have definitely done it sooner, rather than later.

In the end, it's your decision...a difficult one, but one made with love and Brady's best interest at heart.
You will know when the time has come. Hugs to you and Brady

[Deerie me]

I know with Polly. she told us very clearly with her body language, her eyes and her general demeanor. It really was mostly in the eyes. They said "I'm tired now, I don't want to carry on". Even after that my OH waited another week after I gently pointed out that his baby had had enough. Brady may carry on for some time still enjoying life and being with his family. I personally would let him decide and just be very aware of the signs and what he is telling you. I don't think I could bare to do it sooner. I would be thinking of the potential good times he could still have enjoyed. As long as he isn't suffering I would let him enjoy the full extent of his life.


I'm very sorry you are having to go through this.

[Sadie G]

I agree with Tracy. He will tell you when, but don't do anything rash, let him tell you. I went through this with Boomer. Granted I too, like RJM, think I waited too long to make the decision, but I wouldn't change anything. The decision was finally made for us and Boomer knew it was time.

I do want to add, Boomer was on pain meds for two years with no problems. He still enjoyed life, his walks and ate well. It was in the third year that he really started declining. He had spondylosis (fusing of the spine) which is very painful, but when we finally had to make the decision we found out he was also filled with tumors.

I'm so sorry this is happening, I think we all know how hard it is. Extremely hard. But let Brady enjoy some more life, both you and he will know for sure when its time. Hugs to you, Brady and your family.

[purdyandi]

Oh, boy, I went through this same thing about a year and a half ago. I know how difficult it is. I would say that as long as he is comfortable and seems to be happy, I'd just enjoy him as much as possible. I agree with everyone else that he'll let you know when he's ready. I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

I think many of us have been where you are. It is such a difficult decision. As everyone has said, you'll know when the time is right. My heart is breaking for you.

Please take solace in knowing that whatever you decide comes from a loving place; the most loving place!

We are here for support no matter what you decide.

[kian]

With Pirate I too had a hard time and like a lot of us, wait too long. Finally I knew and there was no denying it. With Dixie, I had her on pain meds until it got to the point where she could not easily walk outside and down the steps. She had cancer and when it finally took all she had to walk, it was time. The sad thing was she still ate and wagged her tail despite her inability to get around, that made it so hard.

They do tell you and you will know, it is really up to you. Just know we all understand the difficult decision you have to make and we are here for you.

[pittdrex]

My deepest thanks to all of you for your kind words and support. One of the reasons I came here to ask for adivce was knowing how much you all put the dog's interests first and foremost. I have been afraid that I would let my own wishes to keep Brady with me as long as possible interfere with what was best for HIM.

Right now all I can do is take it day by day. The vet said it seems to be a pretty aggressive form of cancer, and it could be weeks, or maybe a couple of months. Like Kian said, what makes it difficult is that even though there are signs he is struggling a little, he still eats well and wants to wants to walk around the yard. He is a very intelligent dog and always has been good at communicating what he wants, so I have to have faith that I will recognize when he is ready to go.
Again. thank you so much for your kindness.

[princelover]

I am so sorry to hear of your Brady. As others have said, we have all went through this and it is probably one of the hardest times to have to let go. My precious Patrick was 14 when we discovered his cancer and the decision was made to allow him to enjoy his days until his pain was no longer contained by the pain meds. He lived for 3 more wonderful years and did let us know when the time came for the final decision.

Brady will let you know when his time has come but until then, I pray that you will enjoy and treasure every moment you have with him. Remember, we are all here for you during the journey and please keep us updated to his progress.

[RubyJeansMom]

pittdrex, One thing my vet asked me, that really helped in my decision was, "Do the bad days out number the good ones?"

It's good to hear that Brady is still having good days, and I wish him many more to come.

[kian]

That is great advice RJM.

[Phyrie]

I'm very sorry you are faced with this difficult decision, the ultimate act of love and kindness we are asked to give our beloved pets. I think that once we have to ask this question, we are in the process of making the decision. You want to be SURE, and no one can fault you for that. The only fault that might be found, as others have already counselled, is keeping Brady with you longer than you should, simply because you are unwilling to let him go. No one can tell you when it's time, but your intimate knowledge of Brady, with your vet's help, should help you recognize that *this* is too much. What that *this* is will be different for each dog, and each disease. When it came time to decide this for our last dog, I also thought, "How much would be too much for ME?" That helped me, in the end.

I hope Brady's end, whenever it comes, is as gentle, sweet, and easy as our Lacey's was. We can't ask for more than that.

[caramel]

Like so many others I have walked this road. Each of us know our own dogs and with the help of vets and other dog lovers we face the hardest of times. We are all here to offer whatever we can, advice, just listen, or a cyber shoulder to cry on. Cherish the good days.

[Sandy, Cheyenne's mom2]

Like everyone else, I too have been faced with this decision, more than once. They do always let you know.

With Cheyenne in February, I had thought to keep her with me one more weekend, but she took that decision out of my hands and just passed, painlessly (on meds), at home with me before I had to make the painful journey. It is truely the most selfless act of love a person can offer their beloved pet.

Enjoy Brady for the time he has left and make lots of memories to comfort you. We are all here for you whenever you need to talk.

Sandy

[pittdrex]

Brady crossed to the Rainbow Bridge this morning at 11:47. He had begun to have trouble breathing and at times struggled to catch his breath. A conversation with the vet confirmed that his cancer was progressing rapidly and the breathing would only get worse. I just could not risk having to rush him to the vet (where he was always very afraid and stressed) and having his life end during a crisis.
This morning my OH and I took him to his favorite park so he could have a slow wander around. Before we got back in the car I gave him some peanut butter together with a strong sedative so he would not be scared. When we got to the vet we wandered around outside until he laid down in the warm grass to sleep. He never knew when the vet came out to give him his final injection.
I have cried so much the past few weeks, and especially the past few days, that I cannot believe I am not sobbing as I type this. I think I am just numb or maybe in disbelief that he is really gone. Even though we still have Sherman, the house just seems so very empty right now.
I'm not sure how I can sleep tonight. From the time he was a puppy, Brady always laid right next to the bed on my side and the last thing before I got into bed I would rub his ears and tell him good-night. Today I had to tell him good-bye instead.