dingus wrote:First of all, I am completely appreciative of all the advice you've given me. I don't want to get this discussion sidetracked because of stupid snafu about my dog's gender (which, yes, I do know: the dog is a girl). I didn't think it was important in asking my question about the barking, which I am assuming is correct since you all were able to answer without knowing her gender anyway.
dingus wrote:Second of all, I don't think asking about the gender is an invalid question, I never said that. Phyrie asked the question in a way that implied that I don't love my dog (at least as much as she does) because she doesn't refer to her dog as "it" and I do (more on why I called my pup "it" here a little later). I make this statement because the words she used. First she began by saying she was “more than a little disturbed by my continuous use of the pronoun 'it'” which suggests she thinks I perhaps think of my dog as some kind of object, therefore must treat my dog like such, causing a definite need for concern.
dingus wrote:Then she started saying how ALL dog owners call their pets by their sex and that there is indeed something wrong with the fact I am not like all other dog owners in following suit.
dingus wrote:Then the last sentence really bothered me because she referred to my dog as a “'hopefully' beloved family member,” insinuating that she doubts my dog is loved and treated as a family member (the key word is HOPEFULLY).
dingus wrote:By phrasing the question in such a manner, Phyrie was asking a loaded question. I really wouldn't have minded if you simply asked “why do you refer to your dog as 'it'?” I wouldn't have been offended in the least if it was asked like that, but you asked it in a provocative manner.
dingus wrote:You all might think I'm reading too much into Phyrie's words, but in a forum where communication is READ and understood, words are weighed heavily and perhaps I misunderstood as that often happens in online communication. But I hope you can all now see why I was offended by Phyrie's question; it wasn't the question itself, it was the way she asked and the words she used.
dingus wrote:The fact that I call my dog “it” on this forum, and not in real life doesn't speak volumes like you assume, Oliver and Henry's Mum. In fact, it is a childhood habit. I think a lot of people when they were young referred to animals as “it” because they didn't know better, not because they tortured or disliked animals and thought they were objects. I now know better, and am shaking this childhood habit and I slipped while typing online. I feel silly explaining myself like this, but I value the information on this website, and I would like you to understand where I am coming from in feeling the way I do.
dingus wrote:I'm not going to explain again why I got the dog at such a young age, but let me tell you this. Last night I ran into the guy who sold Doodle (my dog) to me. He had a small basket of two puppies, one had fallen out of the basket at which point he took the dog, who was definitely around 3 weeks old, held it upside down, and started shaking it for several minutes for absolutely no reason even though the dog was shrieking. I almost bought his puppies on the spot because I couldn't believe my eyes. It would be nice if there was such a thing as animal abuse center here in this province of China, but there's not to my knowledge. Anyway, I made the decision to take my puppy in at perhaps a too-early-age to give her a chance of being loved and treated better. After seeing that guy I knew I made the right decision although I will have a lot of work doing for Doodle what a mom and her littermates would be doing for her.
dingus wrote:So I apologize if I sounded defensive and arrogant, but Phyrie you didn't make me feel good in the way you asked me such a question, and it sounded like you were challenging whether or not I treat Doodle well and love her (which I most certainly do, that's why I'm here on this forum in the first place). I love my dog and my calling her “it” by accident online out of a childhood habit doesn't imply anything about my love or care. I hope you can all understand that.
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