My beautiful Willie....taken too soon

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

God Bless you Nezza! I don't see the dog in the Driftwood, but perhaps I haven't studied it enough.

Regardless of that, I know Willie is with you all the time. Emma is still with me. She is in Oliver's Red Patches. ♥

[nezza]

Deb, here is a better picture...my first pic cut off the "nose" of the dog....

[nezza]

Been thinking about him so much....i miss Willie All i want is to go outside and play with him...i miss his hugs so very much! I keep hoping that i will see him, just like nothing has happened....i want to sit on the porch with him, sit on the couch with him, feel his soft, warm fur....keeping me warm when i'm chilly....why was he taken from me? Why? i don't understand it at all....why do bad things happen to good people? it's just not fair....i don't think i deserved to have him taken from me. For so many years i wanted an Alaskan Malamute....and i finally got the most perfect one....only to be taken from me so violently....i don't think i will ever be quite the same. part of me died with him....and i will forever carry that with me...

[RubyJeansMom]

Vanessa, Every time I read this thread, my heart breaks for you all over again.
It really is devastating the way Willie was taken from you...I don't know if I could bear it.
I wish your sweet Willie was there to give you hugs and keep you warm too, but he is still in your heart, and always will be.

[nezza]

Thank you RJM, everyone says that the pain will lessen as the days go by.....but it hasn't. I still think of him every day, still wish for him everyday....still dream about him at night....I want him back so badly! I thought he would be here for so many more years....

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Vanessa, I'm not sure the pain ever really does go away; Emma is case in point for me (as well as Sally). Emma has been gone since 1998, and my heart yearns for her every time I see a Golden. I miss her so much still.

What does happen though is we become accustomed to feeling that way. It never leaves us, but at some point we can look at another and smile for the memories we do have. While one never "replaces" another, it does help to acquire a new love to fill the void. I know you have your hands full with Triscuit right now which I think is also adding to your pain. It's no wonder you wish to move away from there.

One day, you'll have another Malamute. The new dog will remind you of Willie, but also show you a whole new love to cherish. I totally understand what RJM is saying as well. My heart also breaks for you, over and over. When the time is right, trust that Willie will send you a new love.

He is always with you, and always will be! ♥

[nezza]

Thank you, Deb. Today has just been one of those days that i have been yearning for Willie so badly... So much has been going on with Triscuit...and Waffles...he is an AMAZING little dog! He loves with all of his little "awful Waffles" heart! I remember when they were born and were old enough to walk and run and when we started to go and see the pups...he ran his hardest to us everytime...HE picked US! Every time we went to see them until they were old enough to bring home...from the beginning Waffles picked us...he wanted to come home with us so baddly. Originally we only wanted one puppy and that was Triscuit....but there was this awkward looking little pup that would always run to us and follow us....that was Waffles. And he has been such a sweet, good boy. He sleeps in our bedroom at night....we have a recliner that has now become HIS recliner and that's where he sleeps...! He loves, loves, LOVES his "babies" that have squeekers in them and he will squeek them FOREVER! and it makes him so happy...and that makes us happy! So distressing to us, is that Triscuit MUST be kept in a separate room because he will attack Waffles for no reason at all....Triscuit sleeps in the living room on the couch....we have to rotate them and it takes a lot of work...SIGH! My sister will be taking him soon....and he will be happier and the whole situation will be better for all those involved....

As for getting another Malamute.....Deb, it would be a dream come true....when the time is right.....and i'm sure i will have another....when my Willie sends me another....I loved that dog with all my heart and will forever....he was sent to me and i appreciate that and i took the best care of him that i could...i wish i could have done more....but i did the best i could. I hope he knows that....and i know he is still with me....

[nezza]

So, i ran into an old friend from work. A couple years ago, this friend came over with his girlfriend and their two friends (another couple). They came because Willie had had a litter of pups with our Red Heeler "Brownie". A very sweet couple and they picked out a little girl and named her Luna. The friend (John) i worked with for a little while and moved on to bigger things with his now fiancee. While we worked together he would always give me updates on Luna but when he quit, i lost contact with him. I had been wondering recently about Luna and hoping she was still living a good life, when John came into work to say hello to all of his fellow past co-workers I was delighted to hear that Luna is still living a very happy, spoiled life. They call her "long-legged Luna" and the couple recently moved because their land-lord did not want Luna there because she was too big. This couple loves her enough to move for her! And that means so much to me!! I'm so happy that she went to such a loving home....i found some pics of her when she was very young....hope you enjoy....


Luna and Baker...

she's the one on the left here...


Here is a pic of another one of Willie's pups from the same litter. i gave him to a girl from work...who brought him to her wonderful home with a lot of space to run and other pets to play with. She came and picked him out right away and put a collar on him that very day! She named him "Baker" and is currently being SUPER spoiled!!! This girl LOVES to spoil him...both him and Luna "talk" like Willie used to...

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Vanessa, those are lovely photos! It must feel so wonderful to know that the pups are in happy, safe, loving, forever homes! It's a shame that one of them isn't having babies, so you could have one of the pups now, but such is life.

Willie endures! ♥

[nezza]

yes, Deb! the most wonderful thing to me is that Willie endures And that these pups have a wonderful life! I kick myself for not keeping one....and i wish that one were having pups of their own...but, as you said, such is life.....

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Vanessa, my Father told me something years ago that I never fully understood until perhaps more recently. He said "you can never go back" when I had asked him about revisiting a place that was once very special to him. I thought, at the time, well that's silly, of course you can go back there...it's still there.

I now understand what he meant. As much as I wish to go back to certain places, or times in my life, I just can't. The world keeps turning and things keep changing. I do know how hard it is to miss someone forever! The desire to have just one more hug, or one more conversation is always there. Moving forward doesn't mean we leave someone behind because we take them with us through our next phases and our journeys.

The other thing I've come to realize (age is a terrific gift) is that is how it is supposed to be. Take Willie with you, wherever you go as I do Emma, Sally and so many others that I have loved. I also take my Father with me wherever I go, and I hear his voice and remember what he tried to teach me. I'm only now just realizing some of the lessons that he so desperately tried to share with me, but I was too young at the time to appreciate their meaning.

Willie is always with you because he is in your heart! No one and nothing can take that away...not time, not distance, not anything. That is where he is always stay and as long as you are alive, he is too. I also believe that we'll all be together again someday. ♥

[nezza]

Deb, you manage to bring tears to my eyes with the truth in your words...you always amaze me because you always know just the right thing to say. You touch my heart and i thank you.

No, we can't go back...like you said, the world keeps turning and things keep changing...and what we have are our memories of a special time, a special place, a special someone. It will always exist in our hearts. And that truly is a beautiful thing....

We will all meet again one day....

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

I'm glad you didn't find me too presumptuous. It's hard, but we always have to keep moving forward darling. Until we meet again... ♥

[kian]

The puppies are sweet, yes Willie lives on through them. It's great for you get a update on Luna and know she is doing well.

I think the hardest part of losing Willie was not being able to say goodbye. He knows you loved him, that I am 100% sure of. Deb is right, we will have them again and then it will be forever, not just for this time on earth. One day what a wonderful renuion that will be. ♥♥♥

Like all of us, we play the what if with ourselves, we can drive ourselves crazy that way. We all want do-overs, of course we can't. Yes, we have to move forward and take those memories in our heart. Take peace with yourself, Willie was and still is a wonderful fur friend. Hugs to you...♥

[nezza]

Thanks so much, Kian. Yes, i do believe the hardest part for me was not being able to say goodbye to Willie. There has been no closure. And, i was expecting him to be here for a long time, he was healthy, and never did i imagine he would be gone so soon.

Deb, i definitely did not find you to be presumptuous. Thank you, both, for your sweetness!

It has made me so very happy to know that two of his pups are living happy lives. Luna, is most like Willie, from what i've heard. Especially when it comes to "talking". She loves to "talk", just like Willie did. And her mom and dad love to talk back to her. I remember when Luna was still just a tiny pup (before we had found her a home)...she would stand (wobble) next to Willie and mimic him "talking" to me. It was so very cute! Then the whole litter (there were four) would chime in and it was like a Malamute chorus