New Kid in the House

[dogluvr857]

We have a one year old grandson who spends the night with us occasionally. Absolutely everything in the world is new to him, and he loves to touch everything, pull things and put things in his mouth. As soon as he comes in the door our 5 year old terrier mix, Abigail, who was Grown Up Puppy here a couple of years ago, becomes stressed and jealous. She doesn't snap or try to hurt Miles, but she becomes very clingy and needy, she runs to us if we call his name, etc. we try to reassure her, but sometimes I'm afraid that additional attention and petting will reinforce her behavior. What would a trainer do to show her what we expect from her, and at the same time let her know that she is not being replaced by this "new little creature" who is all over Abigail's territory?

[oldie moldy]

The decision has already been made and the reality is that the dog sees the grandchild as competing for your attention and she (the dog) doesn't like it one doggone little bit. It doesn't matter if this springs from insecurity or green eyed jealousy the decision has been made and the die cast.

Your absolute priority now is to make sure your grandchild doesn't get bit. It's true the dog isn't offering to bite now but things can change in a flash. What this "trainer would do" would be to hop into the time machine and go back and tell you to socialize your dog for all the conditions she would encounter in her life. I'm not trying to be harsh but that is where the real fix is located.

I would guess that at some age the grandchild will cease to look like a competitor and then begin to resemble a smallish adult who gives treats and can play fun games. Then you can relax, ... till the next grandchild.

It doesn't help you, but most dogs I've seen, seem to regard small children as loveable puppies and will tolerate an enormous amount right up to the point that I've needed to rescue the dog from the child. This however is not your dog.

As I understand, you'd like the dog to "understand what we expect from her" and at the same time "let her know she's not being replaced". In our consumer society it often seems we can order up just about anything our hearts desire; it doesn't work that way in dog training. Any training at this point would mean that you are trusting in that training to keep a child safe. That's not a decision I'd be willing to make.

Best Wishes, Rob

P.S. This hasn't anything to do with dog training but if you haven't "child proofed" your home I would surely encourage you to do so.

[Nileska]

Right on Rob,I would not do anything to reinforce the dogs jealousy over "the strange little intruder".And I would NEVER leave them together unsupervised..I predict that the two will become buddies eventually but for the time being dear Abagail is just going to have to learn to suck it up.

At one point I sold a young Siberian to a couple who had a young child (with a certain amount of trepidation.)..Turned out that they became best buddies and took their naps together,the child useing the dog for a pillow. I DID know that the child was totally fearless around dogs.Of course the pup also had a reliable temperament as well.

[ackerleynelson]

It is really necessary to give much care to your grandson so that the dog does not bite the kid. Normally a pet wouldn’t do this but as you are telling that your furry friend has started comparing itself to your grandson and is jealous, she might as well do this. Also you should try to make your doggy understand that the kid has not replaced her. A good trainer can also help you by socializing a little.

[Nileska]

We are talking about a one year old kid here,newly on the hoof and into everything..The child's safety is paramount and is rightfully the grandparents first concern.So the family dog is sulking,big hairy deal,I think someone needs a little crate time.

[1dog1cat]

How often does this new little one come over? Are his parents with him? Has your dog been "properly" introduced to this new little guy? Perhaps you could let your grandson do a few things with your dog. I understand he is but a baby. I have a pitbull that LOVES kids. My niece (she is 14 months old) comes over any my girl (Pumpkin) gets very excited. So to be on the safe side, I have Pumpkin lay down so my niece can come and pet her. By doing this they both are learning how to be around each other. Maybe you could do that with your grandson and dog? Just let your girl be petted (I am ALWAYS there) and touched by your grandson. She may see him in a new light if he is giving her good attention. Have him give her a treat every time he comes over. I know he is little and has an attention of a gnat, but he is learning even if we aren't teaching. Little ones see everything even if they aren't watching!!
I wouldn't keep them apart. Never take your eyes off of them, but don't put fear into them either. I'd ignore the dog if it was clinging or acting jealous. But not ignore her if she was showing good behavior towards your grandson.
You could introduce them (petting, treat) then put your doggy in the crate or outside for a bit. Let baby roam the house. Let your dog back in to follow him or smell where he has been. Not keeping them separate for long. Just a small time out, maybe.
Teaching them both will be what will bring them together.
I know some dogs won't ever get use to other people. And maybe your dog is one of those. I hope not.
You have a hard job with the need of patience. I hope you find what works for your dog and grandson.