DADDY DAYCARE?!

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

I thought I would post this thread to find out if anyone else experiences this. I could have named the topic "OH Daycare" as it is really not gender specific. This is what is going on around here...

For the first time in 3 years, I am finally taking my sons (Ben, 17 and Elliot 12) down south for a vacation. We used to go every year, sometimes twice a year but for many reasons, have not gone in 3. Our trip is now less than a month away and Oliver's Daddy is staying home to take care of him. We have never kenneled Oliver and never would. Now that Oliver is ill, and the grandparents that promised to look after him are unavailable, someone has to stay home. Since the OH is also not well enough for travel right now, it seemed like a perfect fit. I get quality alone time with each of my boys and they receive a holiday. Enough about the holiday already...

Twice in the past week, the OH has been so lax when it comes to Oliver that I am astounded! First, he left chicken bones in a place where Oliver could get to them, and he did, and he ate them all and he's fine! Last night, he just opened the back door and let Oliver out, without tethering him. During the heavy snow, Oliver can go out on his own as he is incapable of going very far in the deep snow. We just had a major thaw and Oliver decided to take a 10k road run through our neighbours' backyards!!! I knew Oliver was going to be safe and it was rather funny watching the OH, slippers and all, running through the neighbours' in the snow and in the woods while Oliver marked every tree!

Now I'm wondering how is he going to manage when I'm not here. Do they do this on purpose so we feel guilty about leaving? I don't need to punish the OH for mistakes made with Oliver because there is nothing I can say or do to him that he hasn't done to himself, worse than I ever could. It was something I think Romeo & Nutmeg's Mom said about "Daddy was supposed to be watching..." (I hope I had the right poster on that one!)

I would love to hear from anyone else with similar experiences or explanations As I stated at the beginning of this, it is not a gender based issue, it just so happens to be the male in my house who isn't paying enough attention!

[aspen's mom]

Oliver's Mummy...

I, too, live in a male-dominated household. I quit work before my first son was born and only worked part time when my youngest reached school age. In other words, most of the parenting duties (for both human child care and doggie care) fell to me. That is not to say that my dear husband isn't a great daddy to two-legged and four-legged kids alike. I think it has been easy, however, to rely on me to be on top of things when it came to the boys and dogs. Having said that, anytime one of our sons or dogs got sick or had a serious problem, my hubby was right there for us. I will always have very fond memories of this darling man hand-feeding one of our sick Goldens and sharing shifts with me to potty train our puppies.

I'm sure that while you and your sons are away, your husband, too, will "step up." I don't know how it is at your house, but at mine, Hubby also knows he'd catch heck from me if anything happened to my dogs on his watch!

[Deerie me]

Yep, if Loki is going to get out of the garden for any reason it is usually when the OH is in charge of him.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Glad I'm not alone I've noticed it can be rather selective, like an on/off switch

[kian]

OH is lax when I'm home too, if I leave he does step it up and takes care of business. I left for 2 days recently to stay with a dear friend who lost her OH and I left mine with specific Allie orders. They did fine. I bet your OH will do the same, be more mindful when you are gone and I'm sure he will miss you terribly and rejoice when you return!! Gone for 2 weeks, is that right to Florida? Sounds wonderfully warm, wish I could join you

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

12 days to be exact and you are more than welcome! Well after my initial post, didn't the OH go and do something totally caring and unexpected with Oliver, making his other two lapses seem insignificant. Oliver has had a small "issue" with his boy bit and I was going to have the vet take a "good look". I am always reluctant to venture too closely into that area as I have no first hand knowledge of its operations. Needless to say, Daddy took care of it and everything is just perfect now. I feel a bit mean for telling on him for his "prior bad acts"

[kian]

Ah it's all good! We won't tell your OH. We love are guys not because they are perfect, but they are perfect for us!!
Never met a perfect one yet.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Well said Kian, but I just have to say, from time to time, it is infuriating! *Deborah builds a bridge and gets over it*

Thanks for letting me vent...I needed that

[Atlantis]

Hi Ladies,
very interesting comments and observations,.....of course i am no longer an OH,...but i do remember getting sent to the dog box,....OFTEN,.....lol,....in my case i used to just shut down a part of my system,...when,.. "she who must be obeyed",...was home!,...sort of like going in to neutral,....oh i listened,....mind the child for a few moments!,...yes dear!,....then it would slip my mind,....then a loud voice would recall me from that secret place we men go to,..where is the child,...all i could say,..well he was there moments ago,..agh,.....but when left alone for a day or so,..i did take things more seriously,..and acted as per written instructions,...so not to worry,..we do take all on board when we realize you ladies have gone away,...lol.

Philip

[Sadie G]

Deborah you sound so much like me! For the past 3 years my mom and I have taken a trip together just the 2 of us. The first year I was really reluctant to leave Boomer alone with the OH. They did just fine other than the first day Boomer did a standoff snarling at the OH like he was saying........what did you do with my mommy!! Funny now, not so funny for my OH!! Other than that they did fine and the OH stepped up and took very good care of Boomer.
I'm looking forward to a trip with my mom this year if we get to go - depends on how my dad does - haven't planned anything yet so far, but I'm a little worried because Sadie is so much more active than Boomer was in his old age. Not sure how the OH will handle all of the "taking care of" that she requires. I'll cross that bridge when and if it comes!!

My OH sounds like the rest of yours, not always there to help on a daily basis, but when he is really needed he steps up!

I'm excited for you and your son's getting to go on a nice long vacation! Sounds so good.........!!!

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Philip your insights are very enlightening indeed! We women always wonder about such things.

Linda, I understand exactly what you are saying. Obviously we know they can manage or we'd never leave the house. As if we mother's don't carry enough guilt, there has to be that extra worry piled on top! My OH admitted tonight that he has been counting the days and is becoming increasingly more anxious about my departure. He was quite the "happy bachelor", living alone, when I returned to London. (We were friends for 20 years before we were a couple.) He seemed to manage just fine on his own then. I'm sure everything will be just fine.

Nearly 8 years as a couple I should add

[Atlantis]

Ladies,
to further enlighten you all on the comparison between Women's Brain,...and Men's Brain,...i think the link below will explain ALL to you,...with some surprises,....LOL.


Mark Gungor - Men's Brain Women's Brain - EXTENDED

[kian]

The nothing box!!!

emot19.gif (50.5 KB) Viewed 1298 times

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

The Nothing Box certainly explains a great deal! Thanks for the belly laugh Philip.

[Mini Anderson Cooper]

[bLOVE THE NOTHING BOX!!!

Deborah,

Do you mean that your husband actually took your baby, Oliver, to the Vet? I was astonished that he would do that. That is something that my husband absolutely would never do. He "allows" me to be in charge of EVERYTHING.[/b]

Just go and enjoy your trip. Your sons will take good care of you and you can relax and you can have Mum and Son Moments and just relax in a nice warm climate. I think your OH will be eager to show you that he is very capable of caring for himself and little Oliver. Just leave a note "NO Chicken or Other Bones", No _____, Do______, Do _______, Etc, and you can relax. I am sure he can read. (LOL) Enjoy your holiday!

Hugs,

Elizabeth~