Annoying Kids Next Door

[Kristen&Bailey]

Instead of typing up the situation, I will just copy and paste the email that I sent to the other people in our building (We live in a 3 family condo, with someone who lives above us, and a couple below us, however they all travel often for work so aren't around to witness as much as Craig and I)... I'm so pissed off and I kind of need some opinions of whether I am justified as Craig is so laid back and not really worried by this.

Hey Everyone,

I don't know if you guys are around enough lately to notice, but the next door neighbor's kids have a bad habit of treating our driveway and yards as if they are their own. They are constantly using our yards and driveway as shortcuts, which I wouldn't care so much about, if I didn't see them running through Katrine's garden as they do so.

Since the weather has been getting better lately, there is often sidewalk chalk drawings on our driveway (and even on the sides of our garage). Last night when Craig took Bailey out one last time before bed, we noticed some nice blue writing on the bottom of our steps which said "Assholes" and had a drawing of a skull and crossbones on it as well. Now, we don't know for sure if this writing was the kids' or not. Craig doesn't think that kids are capable of this. Being around kids more than him, I personally wouldn't put it past them. However, its also very possible that one of the many loud and obnoxious groups that were out and about last night did this. However, the chalk definitely belongs to the kids next door as there is some blue sidewalk chalk drawings right next to their house on the other side of our driveway. So who knows...

A couple weeks ago, I witnessed them tying each other up in Eddie and Angel's yard to a wooden stake/post thing as one of them laid there and yelled "Help Me" to people who walked by. Now kids will be kids, but do they need to do this in our yard?

Now, all of this has bothered me considering they have their own yard and driveway to play in and they also will sometimes leave their toys all strewn about ours. However the last straw, was today. Yesterday, we noticed that we left a dog rope toy in Eddie and Angel's yard from the party the other weekend (sorry, guys). I picked it up, and at the time just threw it over by our stairs because we were heading out. We forgot to bring it and the kids found it I guess. This afternoon when we went out for the afternoon, I noticed it by the tulips in Katrine's garden. It appears as if they used to to completely whack all the bulbs off of one of the tulip plants leaving the plant flowerless and about 10+ bulbs on the ground. While, neither of us saw them doing this, there is not a doubt in my mind that it was the kids next door and I am very bothered by it.

I personally would like to say something to the parents about this. Craig has never really cared up until this point, however he is upset today about Katrine's flowers.

I just wanted to let you guys know about this situation since it is occurring in your yards and gardens and get your opinion. Do you guys think that this is worth mentioning to the neighbors?

Thanks,
Kristen

So would this piss you off too? If you were to say something to the parents, how would you go about doing it? Letter in the mailbox? Face to face? etc

[kian]

This is a clear case of bad parenting here! Maybe the others will have a better view but what I see is parents who I am sure know what is going on but don't want to deal with it. How old are these children aka brats anyway? If they are left alone and under age the cops can be brought in which I wouldn't hesitate to do.

The toys left in your yard should become yours. Are these people leasing the condo or do they own? If leasing I would contact the landlord and discuss the issues there. There is no excuse for bad behavior and the parents need to be responsible for the damage and their children.

I am for face to face, but all of you need to go so you don't get targeted by the deviants. Stay tough!

I can't wait for Phyries response, she handles these things quite well.

[Kristen&Bailey]

I don't know the exact age of the kids. If I had to guess, I would say around 8 or 9 or so. So not quite old enough to call in the cops on them.

I also don't know if the neighbors rent or own. I assume own but I'm not sure. The majority (if not all) of the houses in our neighborhood are 2 or 3 story multi-family condos. We don't know the families all that well. We are friendly enough with the adults that if we see them out on their porch or whatever, we wave and say Hi but it pretty much ends there. I don't know if the other people in our building have any further relations with them that that.

I definitely agree that its parenting, which pisses me off just as much as the kids. I've told Craig so many times now in our discussions that the parents need to control and supervise their kids and keep them on their own property. \

As for the toys, we haven't seen too much of it this year yet. Last summer however, they would leave their little bikes and whatnot in our driveway all the time. I may just start putting them in the garage if I see them left out again.

[kian]

If these kids are left with no parent I would call the cops, they sound really young. I feel your frustration! My ex and I rented a apartment and the olders kids thought nothing of using foul language and the f bomb while I had a toddler in tow. I wasn't shy about telling them how I did not appreciate that language, however, my ex would just cringe as he forbid me to say anything to them. Notice the operative work is "ex"...!

It happens even in subdivisions, there is always the obnoxious family with the deviant children. The teens next door like to party loud and my husband now (bless him) would confront them. They did quiet and they were more respectful as they grew up.

Yes there are times confrontation is required.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Kristen, I would first go and politely knock on the parents' door. Depending on their demeanor, I would either (a) let them know, assuming they don't already, what their children are doing or (b) if they seem totally disinterested, let them know that you don't wish to involve the police, and any other agencies involving children, but will be forced to do so if they refuse to "supervise" their children. I would also not go alone to their door, and make sure Craig is with you.

As Kian said, anything left on your property is yours.

From what you tell me, I am assuming that the parents aren't supervising their children at all, but it always best to start with honey before you introduce the vinegar.

Imagine if you had a small child whom they were tormenting and treat the situation like that, in terms of how important this is. Also as Kian suggested, I would find out if they own or are renting as the Landlord could be helpful. If they own, and there is a HOA or similar agency, involve them.

You absolutely have the right to not tolerate ill behaved children on your property and should take steps to stop it.

Lastly, and most importantly, if you think for one minute the parents are not receptive and will only make excuses, keep your conversation brief and involve whatever authorities are necessary. Sometimes, parents truly don't know and wish to be helpful.

I had a situation with Elliot that was similar, although it involved playing in the dirt that was already there and certainly no written swear words, but the Mother knew me, only to see me, and sent Elliot home for a broom. I sent him back with said broom and profuse apologies.

Once you have a feel for these parents, you will know what your next steps should be. You are a teacher and you know, better than Craig what children are like.

Be sure to not put yourself in harm's way, but definitely do something. Good luck and keep us posted angel.

[Mali, Sasha & Me]

What is it with kids these days...or more importantly...their parents lack of supervision!! I appreciate it's not all parents who feel they don't need to supervise their kids but at 8 or 9?! They must be crazy....

I agree with all the advice given so far. I would speak with the parents to see if that helped. With the toys, I would return them once (by knocking on their door saying you left these in my yard) and keep them the next. We had to do that with some of our neighbour kids years ago. Finally they learned to keep out of our yard.

Good luck!

[princelover]

Kristen, I believe that you have taken a very good first step in writing the letter and making your other neighbors aware of the situation. You need to stand very firm that you will not tolerate this type of action from the kids as kids tend to push the limits to see what they can get by with (especially those who lack parental supervision) and childish mischief can soon escalate into real vandalism.

I would definately confront the parents face-to-face and take a neighbor or two along with you and again let them know that this is something that will not be tolerated. It really doesn't matter whether the parents are renters or owners, they still have a responsibility regarding their children and damages that the children do.
As for the things left in your yard, I would confiscate them and maybe even later in the summer, have a tag sale or sell them back to the kids, if they wanted them back badly enough.

Your OH may not take this seriously as men generally are more lax on parenting than women but this sort of activity is the type of thing that gangs are born of. If more people would speak up, then our children would confront much less problem when they go into the teenage years.

As others have advised you, don't confront these people by yourself as you can never be sure what type of people you may encounter but there is safety in numbers. But do stand firm in this because if you do allow it to continue, it will accelerate, especially if there is little or no parenting with the children.

[Nileska]

Lots of good advice from everyone..Deb {our diplomat] pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter and the Idea of selling the toys at a garage sale [right next door from the miscreants] is priceless [yay princelover]. I would take the camera and record the damage for future reference, in case they deny it as they shurely will.

..I doubt that your condo is the only one in the neighbourhood plagued by these unsupervised children. Enlist as many others as possible before you confront the parents...As Deb said, start politely,keep it civil and leave room to escalate...Make it clear that if they are not interested in co-operateing you will be forced to involve the authoritys...The current situation is NOT acceptable!

I once had two boys, about the same ages as the miscreants,who lived just across from me,they used my Jaguar for a slideing board,tearing the trim around the back window loose...Another time, after i had spent some time wrighteing all the months bill payments and put them in the mailbox to be picked up,the boys beat the postman to the box and decided to play postman on their own.

.Their mother recovered my mail from all over the neighbourhood and returned the remains to me with apologys. She was a lovely person but a totally innefective mother..She didnt want to hurt their little psychie [IWOULD HAVE HURT THEIR LITTLE PSYCHIE ] . I have heard her tell them ''now stop that or you will force me to do something negative''...WHOAH..THAT'L STOP THEM RIGHT IN THEIR LITTLE TRACKS !...YEAH SURE.

.....Good Luck...Richard

[4 the Dogs]

This is a sore subject with me!! I have had a similiar situation in my "neighbor" hood for a long time. It started like you have described, running though the landscaping, damaging it and the flowers, leaving various toys in my yard. It has now escalated into them playing guns & robbers or something. There is a family of boys in particular, who I call the "ring leaders", whose parents have provided all sorts of those air soft guns. (the boys are ages 7-15) The ring leaders have gotten their friends involved with thier own assortment of these guns. Now we pretty much have a gang of them running loose though the hood playing out gun battles.

I have mysteriously had a window broken twice and am very concerned about one of their stray bullets hitting one of my dogs, or them actually trying to hurt my dogs. I have brought this up with the mother of the ring leader and she says "the airsoft guns are safe, boys will be boys, they are doing no harm, and therefore, she is NOT going to stop this." I'm just a stupid dog owner with no kids, therefore don't know anything about anything. However, some other kids in the neighborhood have told me that these kids are not allowed to play in their own yard!! I don't know, but it would seem to be true.

Last year I caught them aiming at my house and called the police. It wasn't the ring leaders, but some of their friends, however the ring leaders were present. By the time the police got there, the boys had moved up the way and weren't really doing anything at that point. I'm told by the parents that the police basically said their "toys" were cool and as usual, I am being stupid and they aren't doing anything wrong, so I had no business calling the police and "scaring" the kids. The kids continued to play these games in and around my yard all last summer. I have even come home to find them playing on my front porch.

Well, this nonsense has started up again this spring. Last week, one evening I was watching TV when my dogs starting barking at the front door. I went to look and at first didn't seen anything, then saw 3 boys come dashing out of my landscaping and though my front yard with their guns! They then doubled back, hiding on the side of the house, 2 feet from my bay window, while a kid was shooting at them from my driveway!! I blew up!! I went out there, and chased them out of my yard and marched right down to the parents. Basically all they said was "go play up the street." No apology to me, no nothing! I was so mad, that I couldn't see straight! Once I settled down, I wished I had taken the damn guns away from them!! Next time, I will, but I'm sure that won't be pretty with these idiot parents either.

The one neighbor who agreed with me has now decided to sit on the fence and try to keep the peace. I honestly don't know what else to do with these people. When the kids are near my back yard, I make my dogs stay in the house. If I see or hear them in the front, I am constantly watching. It's just rediculous!

I hope you have better luck with your idiot neighbors!!

[Nileska]

4 the dogs,GET A COUPLE OF ROTWEILERS, if the kids come home with fang prints on their butts tell their mom doggies just like to have FUN and to send the boys over to ''play with the Rotties any time Note: Dont feed the Rotties.. {wouldnt you just love to do that ?]

Seriously, there is such a thing as TRESSPASSING , legally you can post your property with warning sighns and prosecute violators...You may even be able to get a protection order. A violator would be in contempt of court for approaching your space...See a lawyer or city attourney.

. Who knows what those ''guns'' are capable of,some air guns are powerful enough to kill someone and even the least of them can take an eye out...They are NOT appropiate TOYS for children to use to shoot at each other....I share your concern that the dogs could become targets. You dont have to put up with all that !

Luck !....R

Perhaps it would be a good idea to confiscate the guns from anyone on your property, I am sure you would hear from either the parents or the police, offer to return them one time only..Next time they are gone for good !

[4 the Dogs]

I like how you think, Richard! Thanks for your support!
It just baffels me how I'm the only one who thinks the neighborhood is an inappropiate place for these games.

[Kristen&Bailey]

Wow Kris... Reading that story made me pissed off for you.

Still no response to my email that I sent the up and downstairs neighbors about the situation.

Craig erased our nice chalk graffiti today, which I was disappointed today because I wanted to take a picture of it. I'll have to get out in the garden soon to photograph the tulips.

Tonight when I was walking home from the dog park with Bailey, I saw a yellow plastic bat that obviously belongs to some kids. My bat now It was in the pile of rubble that used to be our front porch. We are having new porches/decks built on our condo and the construction guys just tore the old one down last week. Right now in front of our house is some cement stairs which lead to a big pit of broken up cement and cinderblocks in which there are 2 ladders that lead up to the two doors. (We don't use that entrance though for safety reasons and we all have a 2nd entrance) The bat was found right in the deep pit of rubble. Great place for kids to play. So glad these kids are supervised. Not.

Craig asked me why I had the bat. I told him I was keeping anything they left in our driveway or yard.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Kris, I am appalled at the lack of just plain old good manners from the parents of those children. I have to agree with Richard in that they should be charged with trespassing the next time. You have the right to peaceful enjoyment of your home and if they are disrupting the peace, than that too is a chargeable offense. At best, they need a stern talking to from the authorities as do the parents.

While I would be very hesitant to take this step, I would if they don't stop. You could always call the Child Protection Agency in your region (Children's Aid Society here) and report the lack of supervision along with the guns. You could state that these children are playing in unsafe areas and causing damage and the parents refuse to supervise them. At the very least, the parents would be contacted and that would put the fear of God into me as a parent. That would be my last resort, but it is an option available to you. Good luck with it angel. As Kristen said, I become angry for you just reading about them.

Sheesh Kristen, I wonder if your neighbours prefer to let you do the "heavy" work when it comes to putting a stop to this. I can't believe the nerve of these children, and good for you for keeping the bat. Richard had some great suggestions. I still think you should attempt to speak to the parents, but do not go alone angel. You will obtain a better idea of what type of parents they are after seeing them face to face.

I can't stand the parents who refuse to "upset Johnny" and his precious feelings. They are doing their children a disservice by not teaching them manners and courtesy to others.

Good luck to both Kris and Kristen.

[Kristen&Bailey]

I forgot to address Richard's point about ours not being the only house and yard. While I don't know for sure, I would venture that we probably are the only victim or at least the main one being right next door. The neighbors on the other side of them have a completely fenced in yard which I'm sure keeps them out, unlike ours.

They also are friends with a kid who lives on the other side of us. (Our house is one the corner so imagine us as the middle of an L with the 2 houses with children next to us) However, while that kid is a very rambunctious kid (adhd galore...), he has very good parents who are stern with him and very respectful and friendly to us as neighbors. So I don't believe that he is a part of the problem, however the mischief kids on the other side of us often run through our yard while trying to get to Jack's house.

I went out to take pictures of the tulips. A lot of the "whole bulbs" that were knocked off seemed to have been picked up. I wonder if Katrine went out there at all today and did anything to it. I mainly just saw loose petals on the ground.

You'll notice the plant on the left has no flowers on it.



A close up, where you can tell the stems have been broken.



The leftover petals (Like I said, I think some were picked up)



The area where I found the bat. There is also a green trash can lid there that you can see in the picture. The bat was on top of it. I'm not sure if the kids put the lid there as well but I didn't bother moving the lid when I went to grab the bat.



Such a lovely area for kids to play, don't you think?

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Kristen, I would be tempted to print those pictures as "evidence" when you talk to the parents. They can't deny what they can clearly see. That is appalling.

Even if the parents aren't willing to do anything, you at least have pictures to show the authorities. That is clear vandalism as well as trespassing. The dangers of the construction site are too many to mention, so go get 'em girl!