Annoying Kids Next Door

[princelover]

Kristen, be sure to document everything with pictures. Keep the camera handy. It doesn't look as though you will get much support from your neighbors. So many "just don't want to get involved" or don't want to make waves because they fear confrontation. It is frustrating, but stand your ground firmly.

I agree with contacting Family services if all else fails. You will actually be doing the children a favor by bringing this to the attention of the authorities.

Richard, you and I think alike on the Rottweilers. I have thought seriously of getting a couple of big hungry Rotties to help control my goat problem. It, too, is beginning to get a bit out of hand. I have tried to be NICE and patient but my patience and nice is beginning to wear a bit thin. I, too, am taking pictures everytime they come onto my property and the damage that incures. I am waiting for the 1st goat to get up on my car and then all hell will break loose.

Hang in there, Kristen, and keep us posted.

[Stewie'sSlave]

This is so Stupid! Parents these days are just so lazy, and don't care what their kids do!

I have a story, but I don't think kids did this. Last month dad went outside to check on out rose bushes. Turns out that all of them have been cut! Most of the branches had a clean cut on them. And the cut was on the same angle. No animal could have done that. and the branches were all laying by the plants. We have no idea who did it. But now the bushes are gone because they were dead

[Kristen&Bailey]

So I got a reply today from our downstairs neighbor. Her and her husband "own" the front yard. The one where I saw the kids typing each other up in and yelling "help me" to people who walked by.

Hi Kristen,

Thanks for the message. I think it makes sense to talk to the parents - what you are describing is a problem and it seems completely appropriate to pull in the adults.

In the few days that I was back at the house last week, the kids were playing in our yard (running around and hitting the fence with something). I was a little bothered by it - I actually had a friend over and we were planning to sit on the porch and have a drink and when we came outside there were kids running around the yard. Their dad was standing on the sidewalk watching them play and didn't seem at all apologetic, etc. I had no idea if this was an occasional thing or if this was happening routinely, but frankly, I found it baffling.

Keep us posted!
Angel

Both her and her husband travel out of the country a lot for work so are hardly home. Katrine upstairs travels a lot as well but is usually in the country and home a little more than they are. Hopefully Katrine will reply back soon (maybe seeing Angel reply with get her to respond as well) and we can deal with this as a house. Maybe even we can approach the neighbors as a group if timing works out, and there is a time soon when not everyone is traveling. We'll see.

Although from her email, I'm not sure how much help the parents will be.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Kristen, from the sound of her email, she seemed quite happy to allow the children to continue to play despite her own desire to use her own front porch! If that had been you or I, we would have walked out and perhaps had a word with the Father as opposed to just ignoring it. I don't think you are going to have much help from her. I hope the upstairs neighbour feels a bit more strongly than "Angel".

It also occurred to me that if the Father is watching the children play on other people's property and is not stopping it, he doesn't care either, or thinks it isn't a big deal as no one has said anything to him. For your own sake, I would try and assume that the parents wish to be thoughtful and just don't realize, until you know differently.

When are you going to approach these parents? Take Craig with you, even if he doesn't wish to go. His participation is not negotiable as your safety is at risk.

Good luck!

[Kristen&Bailey]

I think she does care, but she probably just didn't want to cause a big thing, especially not knowing if stuff like this is a common occurrence. She just got back from a big trip, was only home for a couple days, and I am pretty sure that she is gone again now. She probably had her mind set on one thing and one thing only during those couple of days that she was home and that was relaxing and therefore avoided confrontation at the time.

If it were me, I probably would have said something to the Dad at the time, but there have been many incidents that I have witnessed that have escalated my emotions about the subject. Had it been the first time seeing it like Angel, I probably would have just let it slide at the time rather than make a fuss over it. I would definitely have been annoyed and made a mental note of it, however I probably wouldn't have said anything right away.

I'm not normally a confrontational person however I can certainly be pushed to the point, and I have been with this particular topic.

I don't know when we will talk to the parents. This weekend is supposed to be gorgeous outside, so maybe the parents will be out on their porch enjoying the weather, and I can have Craig come with me and we can speak to them. I'll probably have to do some pushing with Craig to get him to the point to come and say something with me, because he is definitely not a confrontational person. I think approaching them when they are already outside will be easier for Craig than knocking on their door. We'll see.

[mcdammit]

From a completely different perspective, who carries the insurance on the "yard"? Who would be "responsible" should someone be injured in the yard?

I would definitely notify the police regarding any graffiti (even chalk) and any vandalism (no matter how innocuous it may appear). Then, god forbid the antics of the miscreants should escalate, there is a paper trail with the authorities.

Also, if there is a homeowner's association, I would notify them as well. They may have an attorney on retainer who could write a letter to the non-observant parents advising that their children are running around unsupervised and are causing property damage (beating the bulbs off plants is property damage). Furthermore, if there is an HOA, there may be some liability on the part of the HOA should a miscreant be injured (due to no one else's fault but his own, but that won't stop a claim for injuries). A letter to the non-observant parents from the HOA (if there is one) could provide "notice" to the parents should an injury occur.

It seems that every day we get another story (or more) about children (including teenagers) who are getting into trouble. I can imagine children - such as your neighbors - running amok and their antics escalating. I would be concerned that if these actions go unchecked, the next story could be of costly vandalism or other injury to you, your pet, your property, etc. Because of this, I would definitely notify the police (to create a paper trail), any existing HOA (to create a paper trail) and I would even consider keeping a journal to document when you see the children and any damage they create.

Any neighbors who seem reluctant to get involved because either "kids will be kids" or they don't want to "stir the pot" may be convinced otherwise if there could be liability (read: monetary damages) on their part. I know that the neighborhood kids around my place will often consider me the "wicked witch". I don't have young children (but I do have young grandchildren via my stepchildren) and I don't allow children to play or linger in my yard. If their parents aren't going to teach them this, then I will. If their parents have a problem with it, I will tell them that I don't expect my homeowner's insurance to cover the negligence of them (not watching their children) or their children (doing what children do and getting injured) while "uninvited" "guests" on my property. Yes, some insurance policies do have exclusions for "uninvited" "visitors", but I have read too many stories of burglars who were injured while robbing someone's house and then sueing the homeowner and their insurance and actually recovering monetary damages for their injuries.

Just my $0.02! (and another perspective that may get a reluctant neighbor concerned)

McDammit

[mcdammit]

Another thought, your neighbors travel quite a bit. However, I am quite sure they check their email whether they are home or away. (Who doesn't?) Maybe to keep them "in the loop", you could send them a short message when you see the miscreants lurking and misbehaving. At least then they can't say they weren't aware of what was going on. Ultimately, it is up to them how they use the information but they can't say they didn't know.

Just a thought!

McDammit

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Dammit Janet , you have another entirely valid point for those living in the US, where law suits are seemingly a common occurrence, for everything from a hang nail to stubbing one's toe.

With or without an HOA, this situation has to be stopped for every reason previously mentioned. I just want to make sure that Kristen has her evidence in order (which she does) and is safe.

[mcdammit]

Yes, we are quite the litigious society. But, I can't knock it too bad . . . it's how I pay the bills. I have been a paralegal/legal assistant to the past 15 years.

I too want the OP to be safe when communicating with the offending parents. It's a damn shame how violent our world has become. I know the psychologists have all sorts of answers for it, but it is a shame nonetheless. We lived on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi when Hurricane Katrina blew in just 30 miles west of my house. If I could bottle the "neighborliness" that existed in the months immediately following, I could be rich! What a shame that such kindness and lending a hand only comes in times of hardship. (Good lord, how did my soap box get here! I need to put that away . . . )

McDammit

[Kristen&Bailey]

We just went over to talk to the parents. We being Craig and I. My blood is flowing a little crazy right now (lol) and I'm cooking dinner but I'll make a real update soon.

[Kristen&Bailey]

So I heard some kids voices and other noises coming from the side of the house where our deck used to be. I look out the window and sure enough the kids are in the pit playing with the rubble and playing on the ladders that are against the house to the doors. I freak out. First thing I do is grab my camera to document pictures.

Next thing, I beg Craig to come with me to talk to the parents. He kept saying just to tell the kids not to play there but I refused. I told him no, that we needed to talk to the parents because the kids should not be unsupervised, and if they werent they wouldnt be over there in the first place. Obviously the parents had no clue where they were and where they were playing or else they wouldn't be there. He resisted but I persisted. I told him he didn't even have to say anything. He just had to be with me because I didn't want to go by myself.

So we go over. Right before we went over the kids were running back inside. I don't know if it was because they heard us coming outside or not.

We talked to the Mom. She was very polite and thankful for us coming over there to inform her on where her kids were playing. I told her its not the first time they were playing there as I found the plastic bat there last week. I also mentioned how they are playing in our yard a lot and the issue with the tulip bulbs. I forgot to mention the sidewalk chalk on our driveway and garage. Nor did I mention the obscenities drawn/written on our stairs.

As I said, she was very polite, apologetic and appreciative of us coming over to let her know. She also stated how the people who lived here before (referring to the people who used to live downstairs and "own" the front yard) used to let the kids run around and didn't mind. She asked if we would rather them not play in our yard and I said yes.

Thinking back now, there is a lot more I would have said (and would have liked to say), however my blood was boiling from Number 1 seeing them playing in the rubble again with my own 2 eyes and Number 2, having to convince Craig to come with me and I clearly couldn't think straight and form all the thoughts I wanted to. I didn't even properly introduce myself.

We'll see if anything changes. If not, we have the whole "We came over and talked to you and let you know what was going on fairly nicely." As I mainly talked about just being concerned of their safety playing in the construction site. If it continues, I will have to break out my list of offenses committed by their children.

I know that she was planning on talking to her children as I heard her calling to them as we were leaving.

[Phyrie]

Kristen, if you haven't already, document all these "events" on paper, with dates, times, and any actions taken by you. You may need an actual paper trail to show the parents, if they end up being in denial.

Good for you for "making" Craig go with you, and shame on him for making you "force" him. Even if he doesn't like confrontation, he should still wish to ensure your safety when dealing with the neighbours. I mean, they could have been encouraging their kids to play in your yard! Unlikely, I know, but the stupidity and irresponsibility of some people continues to astound me.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Kristen, it sounds to me like the Mum was pleased to be informed as she apparently thought there was no harm in her children playing there before. Children are rarely forthcoming with the things they ought not to do, so it sounds to me like she will at least try to amend the situation.

If she has been rude and in denial about her babies, you know the type, then I would be more concerned. She sounds approachable, and more willing than most to hear about things her children are doing that they shouldn't when she thinks they are operating within the confines of the rules.

I am surprised that Craig was not more concerned for your safety above all else, regardless of the issue of why you were going to the neighbours. All you asked him to do was stand there! I can't think of a single reason why that would be difficult when your safety could be at risk, regardless of his personal opinion about the neighbourhood children.

Hopefully the Mother will make changes. If you see a change at first, and then see things "slipping", I think she would be approachable again as she didn't make excuses for her children. That is rare! It takes a village.

[princelover]

Kristen, I am glad you got this presented before the mother and I hope she will take the kids to task and problems will be solved. As Phyrie said, continue to keep this documented for the time being until you are relatively sure that the kids will be receiving proper supervision.
If all goes well, you may want to take the mother a small gift of appreciation (a bunch of flowers or a pie or cake) and say "Thank you" for her cooperation. Sometimes something as simple as this keeps the ball rolling in her keeping the kids in line.
Good luck, sweetie.

[Oliver & Henry's Mum]

Sher, that is a terrific idea! That's a very diplomatic and courteous way of keeping a good line of communication open. One catches more flies with honey, than with vinegar!