We know you're not kidding. You can expect little sleep for a while. It's OK, we've all thought the same thing, some to more degrees of desperation than others! It's OK. We understand.
There was a very, very long thread that chronicled the adventures of Cindy and her dog Charlie. Charlie, a large, mixed breed mutt, spent the first two years of his life attempting to EAT Cindy. His teething stage lasted longer than any dog any of us had ever heard of! He nipped, he bit, he tackled her from behind, he chewed on every part of her body he could reach. At one point, she even became frightened of him, and she despaired that he would ever get better. She was covered in scars, but she loved him, and was determined to live through this "stage" with both of them sort of intact. The thread is gone now, as they age out after a year, but it was a brave testament to the ultimate in faithful animal guardianship, and we are lesser for it's loss. Cindy NEVER gave up on Charlie, even when bruised and bloody and hiding behind a door to protect herself from him.
Although she no longer posts here, I still hear from her every once in a while. Charlie has grown to be a wonderful, well-behaved, much loved dog, companion, and guardian, just as she wanted. But the struggle she went through would have crippled some of us, or caused us to re-home Charlie. But with the group's help, she prevailed, and she would tell you it was all worth it.
Each and every one of us has a story to tell you, advice to give you, and support to help you. If I haven't personally experienced some particular difficulty you're having, you can be sure someone else will have done. You're in good hands, even when those hands are covered in poop and dog slobber.