Puppy: Sasha 'Snappin Turtle' Cagle



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Member Since: August 30, 2009

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Sasha 'Snappin Turtle' Cagle

Sasha 'Snappin Turtle' Cagle

Advice for Younger Puppies by Sasha Cagle 1. If you are in need of a treat, try licking Daddy's toes. Daddy Toe Juice is an excellent low-calorie aperitif or dessert substitute! 2. If you are sleepy, try sleeping under Mommy's chin. She may be resistant to this at first, as it impedes her movement, but simply yawn adorably and place your paw on her cheek. She'll give in. 3. Yes, you know how to sit, and lie down, and come here, but really, what's the point if the Parents aren't holding a treat? Don't cave for one of those stupid crunchy treats either--hold out for a holistic soft training bit or, if the Parents are really frustrated, cheese! 4. Another easy way to get cheese is to pretend to be afraid of your doggie door. Daddy just spend four hours figuring out how to install that thing and he'll be dad-gummed if you're not going to use it. Act scared and he'll lay down a trail of cheese to bribe you! 5. Your parents probably spent about $100 on boring developmental toys for you. Don't despair--there are many delectable playthings to be found in the garage, laundry room, bathroom, and back yard! Some of the more fun things I have found include a carpet scrap, a piece of charcoal, a dryer sheet, bathmats, and Q-tips. (If you step on the little pedal at the bottom of the trash can, you'll find all kinds of treasures!) 6. Grandpa thinks it's funny to thwart your parents' attempts at preventing Puppyhood Obesity. Sit under his chair at all family dinners and reap your rewards! 7. All puppies should have a basic grounding in human evolution. See, Mommies are genetically programmed to respond to the piteous cries of tiny creatures. So if you are in the tiniest way bored or unhappy, you must direct your cries at MOMMY. Daddy is a lot more resistant to this. 8. Grandma doesn't care if you try to eat her earrings. Why else would they be there if not for you to enjoy? 9. Sure, that guy who just came in may LOOK like Uncle Michael, but who's to say he's not a predator in disguise? Bark at him, a lot, but be sure to do so in an adorable squeaky puppy way so you don't get in trouble. 10. True, your older Cousin Malcolm's body language may seem tired when you try to play with him, but that's just an act. How could anydog not want to play? Try tugging on his ears with your teeth to draw him out of his shell. 11. Someday, if you try hard enough and are persistent, even though you are only eight inches tall, you will be able to jump up on the dining room table. Remember: practice makes perfect. 12. What is that white thing on the end of a stick that Mommy pushes around the floor every Saturday? AN INVADER, OF COURSE! Jump on it, bark at it, try to catch it--it is threatening your family!

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